Don't Darwin Me, Bro

Standing on the corner when a piano drops below

Or fishing on the lake when a trout jumps down your throat

Drunk and climbing walls when you lost your door keys

It's all safe until it's not

It's safe until you drop.

Just paralyze me now and I'll stop making mistakes.

Been trying real hard not to die in stupid ways.

Your last breath you're taking

Knowing you're a laughingstock

Out comes the exhale and the first of the guffaws

Here's your life

(Here's your life)

It's almost up

(Almost up)

You tried so hard and got so little in return

But now it's done

As dumb as it begun

(x2)

Cardiac arrest in another woman's bed

The kinda bad luck that can sever both your heads

You swore it wasn't loaded when you used it as a bong.

It's all smart until it's not

When you're your own headshot

Just pad all my rooms and put away all the sharp objects

I don't want final moments I won't live to regret

Your family's final memories

Farewell tears to shed

Were they laughing out loud or wailing bitter sounds?

Ba bah bah bah bah bah

Ba bah bah bah bah bah (to the tune of the previous chorus)

The ending comes

As dumb as it begun

Just feed me with a tube and keep my limbs restrained

I'm trying not to disgrace my family's somewhat good name

You'd think it'd be real easy

Stick to the beaten path 

It's all wise until it's not

When they catch you slippin' up

Ba bah bah bah bah bah

Ba bah bah bah bah bah (to the tune of the chorus)

The ending comes

As dumb as it begun