The night is scary and work was long and I come home scared of the rooms we didn't see 'till now.
It's dark, but it's still home. You'll cook us dinner, and we can finally relax.
If I could just tell you about this one thing.
All the day it was in my mind.
It was nothing in the end, but I swore it was gonna blow up in all of our faces.
I had this day you wouldn't believe.
They won't even let me think about taking off work.
I mean I need some time to breathe.
I need some time to party and drink 'till we drop.
I was so hungover the next day.
I need time to meet my girls/dogs and get my groove on the dance floor.
Maybe spend some time with my folks or that new boy/girl I've been seeing lately.
Did I tell you about the last one?
I saw him/her again. Like a bad rerun.
Did you see that show last night? I missed it.
This one I watched was so good.
It's a really must see.
I know the one you're talking about.
It was so overrated. It sucked.
How did they think that would be realistic?
Seriously.
Who watches and likes this crap?
Not you and not me.
You did what? and what did he do?
How'd he take that?
If I could find the words to say to make it right.
If only you were there.
I had this dream. It was crazy.
It was out of this world.
I was at work and then...
Anyway,
He actually did that. My own family.
Can you believe it?
I can't even believe it.
I'm scared of what I'll think about.
If you only knew what happened this one time.
It was too real to be true.
It makes me scared to think about the future of...us, you know.
Where are we going to go?
What are we going to do next?
Everything's already been done anyway.
I want to do something really memorable.
Like something people will see and say, "Wow, she/he did that?"
We all feel like that sometimes.
People are shitty drivers in this town.
They don't even know how to use a turn signal.
This asshole plumber made me wait for six hours last time this happened.
There were cockroaches everywhere in the house.
I kept trying to hint that we should go, but she just wouldn't take the hint.
Alright, well I have to get up so early in the morning.
The neighbor's dog better stay quiet or I'll put the thing to sleep myself.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Imp Rage
In a rage of passion
bordering on a fit.
I found myself unable
to get right out of my bed pit.
And I said, "fuck."
What the fuck am I doing?
Looking for inspiration
to come out of my silly head.
I dreamt amazing things
and did fuck all about them.
Well a dream's alright.
Like a human mousetrip.
I searched hard for some answers
to those questions I'd asked.
Staring straight into the mirror
saw a man without a shirt.
And I said, "fuck"
Don't wanna look at him no more.
This man's a failure.
He's no at all what you will see.
This man is so is so much more you know
If dreams could set his body free.
If dreams could start the feeding fire.
If dreams took you higher then higher
Then oh, then oh, the places you will go.
Lay back into bed
and fall asleep.
Yeah, fall asleep.
Well my brain is bursting
with things I'm sure I didn't think.
And it makes me wonder
who was I before this dink?
What black hole did I crawl out from?
Whose bright idea was it
to spin me on this roulette wheel
and not tell me where I'll end.
and never where I will end.
A painful sure existence.
All clear, easy to see.
That all is nothing anyway.
But nothing's everything.
If dreams could show the way,
If dreams could settle your heart,
then oh, then oh go back to sleep.
Wake me up again
when it falls apart.
Yeah, I'll be waiting.
Not wearing a shirt.
bordering on a fit.
I found myself unable
to get right out of my bed pit.
And I said, "fuck."
What the fuck am I doing?
Looking for inspiration
to come out of my silly head.
I dreamt amazing things
and did fuck all about them.
Well a dream's alright.
Like a human mousetrip.
I searched hard for some answers
to those questions I'd asked.
Staring straight into the mirror
saw a man without a shirt.
And I said, "fuck"
Don't wanna look at him no more.
This man's a failure.
He's no at all what you will see.
This man is so is so much more you know
If dreams could set his body free.
If dreams could start the feeding fire.
If dreams took you higher then higher
Then oh, then oh, the places you will go.
Lay back into bed
and fall asleep.
Yeah, fall asleep.
Well my brain is bursting
with things I'm sure I didn't think.
And it makes me wonder
who was I before this dink?
What black hole did I crawl out from?
Whose bright idea was it
to spin me on this roulette wheel
and not tell me where I'll end.
and never where I will end.
A painful sure existence.
All clear, easy to see.
That all is nothing anyway.
But nothing's everything.
If dreams could show the way,
If dreams could settle your heart,
then oh, then oh go back to sleep.
Wake me up again
when it falls apart.
Yeah, I'll be waiting.
Not wearing a shirt.
Wednesday
I don't know the day of the week.
Fuck it, don't care.
For all the good it'll do me.
My mind aint good like rewinding a movie.
And I don't know myself this week
Searching for my self
in a past I don't remember.
I might as well throw it out with the paper.
Been so many things
I kinda lost count.
Did you know I was that and this and that?
I feel your doubt.
7th grade
to
Sweet sixteen
Fuck the all
stuck in between.
Grammar school to graduate.
Put me back in
I aint quite finished yet.
What month is it this week?
Shit, what do I care?
For all the good it'd do me,
probably some bullshit likely to screw me.
And I forgot myself this week!
Sullied myself in ways I don't remember.
Watch out, you know, you never know what'll happen.
And so I think
my point comes across.
We're friends for the moment
'till it all falls apart.
Buddies.
Pals.
Boyfriend.
Cheater.
Liar. Sucker. Motherfucking creeper.
Acquaintances.
Long-lost friends.
A face in the crowd
that turns and stops and says,
"You won't believe this shit this week!"
Might as well care, too bored to pretend yeah.
Happened before, just listen, nod, share and stare.
Fuck it, don't care.
For all the good it'll do me.
My mind aint good like rewinding a movie.
And I don't know myself this week
Searching for my self
in a past I don't remember.
I might as well throw it out with the paper.
Been so many things
I kinda lost count.
Did you know I was that and this and that?
I feel your doubt.
7th grade
to
Sweet sixteen
Fuck the all
stuck in between.
Grammar school to graduate.
Put me back in
I aint quite finished yet.
What month is it this week?
Shit, what do I care?
For all the good it'd do me,
probably some bullshit likely to screw me.
And I forgot myself this week!
Sullied myself in ways I don't remember.
Watch out, you know, you never know what'll happen.
And so I think
my point comes across.
We're friends for the moment
'till it all falls apart.
Buddies.
Pals.
Boyfriend.
Cheater.
Liar. Sucker. Motherfucking creeper.
Acquaintances.
Long-lost friends.
A face in the crowd
that turns and stops and says,
"You won't believe this shit this week!"
Might as well care, too bored to pretend yeah.
Happened before, just listen, nod, share and stare.
Explain/Describe/Dismiss
No one makes you feel bad about yourself. You let others' thought and feelings control you. You make yourself feel bad.
Stupid is a silly word as most people have a reason for the things they do. People differ from one another in their individual beliefs about what constitutes rational thinking. We differ in our experiences and ability to correctly guess future events.
Crotchety is the word I would use to describe you at this age in life. More experienced. Angrier. More impotent. More impatient. Occasionally incontinent, but not in the good way. It is so easy to set you off that it makes you even easier to dismiss.
Young, uninformed, liberal, or naive are all words that would help you dismiss me.
Stupid is a silly word as most people have a reason for the things they do. People differ from one another in their individual beliefs about what constitutes rational thinking. We differ in our experiences and ability to correctly guess future events.
Crotchety is the word I would use to describe you at this age in life. More experienced. Angrier. More impotent. More impatient. Occasionally incontinent, but not in the good way. It is so easy to set you off that it makes you even easier to dismiss.
Young, uninformed, liberal, or naive are all words that would help you dismiss me.
The Dream About a Dinner Party
The day lies in empty bottles, apple cores, data on a memory stick.
The volume of the TV is below the hum of the refrigerator and fan.
I plead with the world to shut up tonight because the song in my head is soft and melodious.
A xylophone resounding soft thuds like powder snow.
Last night happened in a dream I had once a long time ago.
Sometimes I'm surprised to see you instead of just knowing you're there.
And I remember it's fun to play with you.
I see how I should be so I can remember when I can't be that way.
I had a dream about a dinner party.
Vivid so like the symptom.
And it feels like one of those dreams that'll come true.
But I am nowhere near that elegant highrise.
I sleep in your bed. After sunset. Before sunrise.
When I wake, I unfriend the one who got away.
In love songs, they make promises they can't keep.
Why is that so important?
I can't force myself to believe more than I can see.
I see you.
There are times I really want to hate you.
For all the good in you I still have so much doubt.
Are your sweet words truths or guidelines?
I feel I want to know whose love this is.
You should know. It's true.
I have never been your gender.
But I'm trying to understand.
Things have been getting better recently.
If our relationship worth its weight then it's worth it to wait.
Let's not aggravate our lack of problems.
The volume of the TV is below the hum of the refrigerator and fan.
I plead with the world to shut up tonight because the song in my head is soft and melodious.
A xylophone resounding soft thuds like powder snow.
Last night happened in a dream I had once a long time ago.
Sometimes I'm surprised to see you instead of just knowing you're there.
And I remember it's fun to play with you.
I see how I should be so I can remember when I can't be that way.
I had a dream about a dinner party.
Vivid so like the symptom.
And it feels like one of those dreams that'll come true.
But I am nowhere near that elegant highrise.
I sleep in your bed. After sunset. Before sunrise.
When I wake, I unfriend the one who got away.
In love songs, they make promises they can't keep.
Why is that so important?
I can't force myself to believe more than I can see.
I see you.
There are times I really want to hate you.
For all the good in you I still have so much doubt.
Are your sweet words truths or guidelines?
I feel I want to know whose love this is.
You should know. It's true.
I have never been your gender.
But I'm trying to understand.
Things have been getting better recently.
If our relationship worth its weight then it's worth it to wait.
Let's not aggravate our lack of problems.
My love
My love is a pink stuffy room.
You can't see through the barred windows.
My love chases you down narrow hallways
and stifles you softly.
Here I thought I was a hopeless romantic.
I didn't know how hopeless I could be.
Stay close for the next attack of panic.
Stay close.
Don't you ever leave.
My heart is as vulnerable as words on paper.
As easy to assail as an absent-minded comment.
It has broken and mended poorly,
but I have it and only it to give.
What a mess of conflicting signals.
A harmonious cacophony.
When I hear your height spoken aloud I am shocked
because you seem to tower over me.
You can't see through the barred windows.
My love chases you down narrow hallways
and stifles you softly.
Here I thought I was a hopeless romantic.
I didn't know how hopeless I could be.
Stay close for the next attack of panic.
Stay close.
Don't you ever leave.
My heart is as vulnerable as words on paper.
As easy to assail as an absent-minded comment.
It has broken and mended poorly,
but I have it and only it to give.
What a mess of conflicting signals.
A harmonious cacophony.
When I hear your height spoken aloud I am shocked
because you seem to tower over me.
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