Anhedonia

Just a sheep in the field
still feeling the shears
and when the scars do heal
I scratch them endlessly
I scratch them endlessly

I got a saddening,
maddening,
pervailing
loneliness verged on despair.

I feel it
coming
and growing
every blessed time I take in air.
This existential dilemma
remember:
nothing goes anywhere.

Just a lukewarm fish
from a pond too big
with my naked body
flapping
side-to-side again
Side-to-side again
The monotony throbbing
inside my head again

Just a spider's web
in my chest cavity
It wraps obsession up tight
till it captures me
I feel it capture me
I feel it capture me
The dipping of the fangs
bodes unfavorably

Your pills are gradually
battling
my deepening delusional fears.
Traded annoying paranoia
for unending medical arrears
Here

Your prescriptive addiction
bests all God's benediction
Appreciate requiem's dream
For its inevitablity
Trade the bud for the liquor.
Trade the booze for God.
Trade the lord for work.
and fall in love again
I fell in love again.
I fell in love again,
and felt confused
in the search for an opinion.
I found an opinion.
I found an opinion.
It got echoed and sourced from a book I read.
A pretty book I read.
Put images in my head.
Heard a song in a club
and lost all sense to rhythm

Who's got my head again?
What is my heart beating?
Where my brain ends up
is where I begin?

I got this faltering
shattering
memory of where it is I have been.
From the shop to the pub
and then skipped right to a hospital bed.
Dead

My dead uncle just left
But he didnt even know that was him
I leave for work everyday
And the ordelies are strapping me in
And...?

Just a cow in line
I amble straight ahead
whipped my legs right off
The panic ebbed and bled
The panic ebbed and bled
The panic ebbed and bled
With the light in my eyes
I stared until the end.
I stared until the end.
I stared until the end.