What?

A lie usually requires a backup lie.
Support. Alibi.
Someone will know if there's something you don't
And the more you explain, the greater disbelief evoked
And the less you say, the more relies on trust
Which is already lost
So now, as stiff as you appear
As intent as your eye contact
I still doubt

Irreal

Here I am playing what I am not
The air is cool, but the sun is hot
The sun melts me down
the breeze blows me off

Anhedonia

Just a sheep in the field
still feeling the shears
and when the scars do heal
I scratch them endlessly
I scratch them endlessly

I got a saddening,
maddening,
pervailing
loneliness verged on despair.

I feel it
coming
and growing
every blessed time I take in air.
This existential dilemma
remember:
nothing goes anywhere.

Just a lukewarm fish
from a pond too big
with my naked body
flapping
side-to-side again
Side-to-side again
The monotony throbbing
inside my head again

Just a spider's web
in my chest cavity
It wraps obsession up tight
till it captures me
I feel it capture me
I feel it capture me
The dipping of the fangs
bodes unfavorably

Your pills are gradually
battling
my deepening delusional fears.
Traded annoying paranoia
for unending medical arrears
Here

Your prescriptive addiction
bests all God's benediction
Appreciate requiem's dream
For its inevitablity
Trade the bud for the liquor.
Trade the booze for God.
Trade the lord for work.
and fall in love again
I fell in love again.
I fell in love again,
and felt confused
in the search for an opinion.
I found an opinion.
I found an opinion.
It got echoed and sourced from a book I read.
A pretty book I read.
Put images in my head.
Heard a song in a club
and lost all sense to rhythm

Who's got my head again?
What is my heart beating?
Where my brain ends up
is where I begin?

I got this faltering
shattering
memory of where it is I have been.
From the shop to the pub
and then skipped right to a hospital bed.
Dead

My dead uncle just left
But he didnt even know that was him
I leave for work everyday
And the ordelies are strapping me in
And...?

Just a cow in line
I amble straight ahead
whipped my legs right off
The panic ebbed and bled
The panic ebbed and bled
The panic ebbed and bled
With the light in my eyes
I stared until the end.
I stared until the end.
I stared until the end.

A Bad Tuesday

There's something wrong with the tactile hallucination of finger on magazine print,
Scraping, pulling, folding the light but durable material
Flipping the pages, they don't cut.
The hands are stale and dry like memories
The eyes set deep in skull are a picture of a picture.
The sun shines through a window.
The perception persists.
A bizarre fascination grows. Smelling the roses too closely.
The bladder fills.
Mirth is unreachable just as loved ones.
The keyboard is light and hollow.
The hands move without prompt.
It is a thought, an idea with no origin,
and a pinky sticking out.
It is a story about a species a dull-witted nation does not care to save.
It is a persistent cold dulled and returned by the presence and removal of a jacket.
It is a lack of work when a break would suffice, and the guilt thereby experienced.
It is a home for a boarder and deliberate obfuscation.
It is a song whose meaning is clear after the first listen, discarded after consumption.

Intercultural

We were throwing your ideas
around with the boys
We came up with something
we think you'll really enjoy

Here, take it back
We don't want it
You changed it
You took it
Now you give it?
It's different.

It's better now, see?
Something every one
can warm up to

Says you
we don't want it back
we want something new
You never share
You don't care
We let you in
You see,
You hear,
You like, you want,
You take

That's not fair

No, it's not
You make us into one
when we're all separate
souls underneath the same sun
If us isn't you,
you make us into them

Times have changed
That was the old way

Yes, it was
Yes, it is
Now all you know is
What was
It looks like it hasn't been
but always turns out the same

We can change

You will
and then
You'll do it again
You'll find another way
to take what's given
We can't trust you
You lie
You cheat
You don't know what you do
And what you do know
hurts us

Come back
We need you

We don't want to need you

Come back
We need you

We don't want to need you

Sad

Sad
What a way to be
What a hidden disease
To seize
those happy days away

Sad
What a way to feel
What a way to congeal
My insides
In a ball

There's no problem solved
Only wrong and more wrong
For all the right reasons

Words
Words can fuck you for real
Words can conceal
What actions reveal
And the face can't fake

Words
Are dancers in the wind
Are sounds you dont take in
When the one you love speaks

There's no problem solved
And everything is wrong
But neither is a-ny-one

We're all for each other
Like sister and brother
We sit and eat shit

Truth
Truth's the one to blame
Truth's a hooker to defame
Wear out
and throw away

Truth
Truth will make you a god
Truth will break your bonds
You know
you're better off alone

There's no problem solved
Just intentions gone wrong
So fuck it

Our dream can't be real
If you always interfere
So there you are

Sad sad sad sad

Poe

Hope's in denial at the bottom of a bottle
Rain, snow, or shine, the grape god parties
Oh
I long to go to oblivion of slurred speech

And the bottles are packed to go
You're free with no self-control
Control

Hope's in his cups and can't get enough
The more shit it rains, he gulps carelessly
Oh
I long to go to nirvana of muted dreams
Dreams
Dreams
Dreeeeeeeams

With a kickstand right to the face
What need for poise or for grace
Grace

Hope's constitution is a shared delusion
Dark foggy head vision makes blurry
Oh
I long to stumble in a ditch and bleed
Bleed
Bleed
Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Hope's pissed again with no sight to end
With blissful chagrin we'll have the same again
Are all you such cowards, such craven wimps and pansies
Which of you bitches can hope put to shame
Oh 
I long to wake to breakfast through a straw
Straw
Straw
Straw

And the IV's been prepped for your case
We know they're all insane
Sane