The Lieutenant Part 1

Right now, the cops have just pulled up next door, and are stepping out of their vehicles, heading towards this old video store we just raided. I'm huddling in the living room of this apartment I broke into. I tried talking to the lady that owns the place, but huffed it and her children into another room. Every once and a while she yells through the door about how big a gun she has. Yeah, I waiting for it, honey. Whatever. I'm not here for them.
The store owner next door is dead. I regret that. I really wish Hungry Nine hadn't started this shit today.
It was the owner's fault, and now I'm here waiting for the fucking cops 'cause Nines lost his shit. I mean, it's what we wanted, but still shit did not have to be this messy. The owner, he kept yelling and screaming, "When law and order comes back, you'll pay. You'll pay, you little buggers. I knew who you were." He stared directly at Nines at that point. "I knew you."
And that's when Hungry Nine took him down. He's getting better at it since we started this whole fool bullshit. It's kinda gross the sounds people make when they get hit. It's not like TV. It's louder than anything.
He launched himself over the counter, and landed right on that grumpy old man, and I kept thinking, "Why the fuck are we doing this?" And then maybe thinking on some of the movies I wanted from the store. I didn't really need them. No one really needed them, but I had always heard good things about "And They Died Tomorrow" the series. I guess I was curious.
I thought about yesterday, how I had sex with Jennifer Lopez. I was really surprised at how old she looks now. She also gained a little weight, which seems odd, but I guess she doesn't live like we do. I was at my mother's house, and things got heavy, and I went down on her for a long while. She grabbed her clit, and started moving it around, so it seemed like I wasn't really doing her much good with my tongue there, so I decided, fuck it, why not just stick it in?
And she was down, and she was good. It felt really good. It was getting better, I had got into a groove, and I could handle my sperm, but then she asked about a condom, and I guess I was too nice about it because she was perfectly safe, I aint got no diseases, but she seemed really worried.
"Hey, buster, get over here," Hungry Nine said. "Don't you want any of these Gundam?" pointing to the shelf.
I didn't. I guess I was still kinda hung up on J-Lo. After she asked, I put the condom on, but I had had to pee since before we started having sex, and that was gonna fuck with my stamina and the hardness, so I went to pee real quick, telling her I'd be right back, so I started peeing, and I knew I was gonna lose some of the stiffy so we would have to start over from making out, and then I had to poo a little bit, so it all took a little while, and she came out dressed just after I finished pooing. I had been trying to think of the movies she was in and some line to go with that, but I kept thinking of other movies with other actresses, and then that became part of the line I was using, and then I kept thinking about how I was having sex with Jennifer Lopez, the Jennifer Lopez, and then I had the stupidest smile on my face and my face was hot and I walked almost right into her, but she was walking too fast to really deliver a good line. She said she had somewhere to go. She said hello to my mom, and my mom mentioned some wedding or something, I dunno. I was too focused on getting J-Lo back in the bed to really pay attention, and then I switched strategies, trying to get to see her again, and she got really serious.
"I'm going to that wedding tomorrow."
"Ohh...ok, what wedding?" I asked, I smiled a wide sly grin. I hoped that would work on her, I mean, she's J-Lo, so only so much works, but maybe that would.
"The wedding your mom was talking about. I know the place." She smiled and ruffled my hair. "You should listen to your mother more."
"You really like weddings, huh?"
"Yes...I..." She really wanted to go, so she would like start to go and then kind of pull back. It was upsetting, so I had to ask her about it.
"Hey, why are you leaving? I got the condom and everything."
"Well, it's like..." She checked her watch, "It's almost seven and I'm not sure I want to be here when your father gets home."
"Whoa? My father? Please. We...live in like separate places." I gulped. This might be an angle.  "He's not coming home." I wonder if it was the age thing, she looked so much older, but she felt so good, like you could hardly tell the age.
"That's ok. I hit my two hour date limit."
"Oh, that's how long you usually..."
"Yeah, when it gets over that, I feel like I should wait 'till the next one." She sealed it with a seductive smile, grabbed my shirt a little bit, pulling me in and she was so warm. Damn.
I laughed. I grinned. I wanted to go back to feeling those curves back and forth, skin against skin, all over again, but I held it in. I was good. I held it in. I had to let her go. Play the game.
Over her shoulder, she said, "See ya."
So now, looking over the store that's ours until the cops show up, I really don't want anything. Maybe I'm getting too old for this kid shit. Hungry Nine took a lot of stuff. Did J-Lo have a good time? I guess she seemed distracted, even while I was in her and everything, but she's J-Lo, I mean she used to have a hundred better boyfriends than me I bet, but I'm pretty damn good. I mean...I dunno, it usually seems like I'm pretty good.
Hungry Nine got angry at me for not getting anything. "Yo, man, this is choice shit. You need to get it."
"I dunno. I don't feel like it. Can we just get outta here?," I said. I wanted to tell him about J-Lo, but he's an asshole about that shit. Maybe James or something.
"Fuck, man, fuck, man, get your shit straight, man. I can't be having no day-dreaming lieutenant. You know you're my lieutenant, right?"
"Yeah...yeah. Whatever, Chief," I looked down at all the stuff, it was all free now, and I half-heartedly grabbed the anime I was looking at from behind the counter, stepping over the mess Hungry Nine had made of that old man, he grabbed at my leg. I shook it off and walked back out to Hungry Nine.
"Get that chocolate too."
So I did, and then Hungry Nine left. When I started to leave with him, he smiled at me and told me to "hang back for a sec" like an asshole. I just stood there for a little bit, still feeling down.
I met J-Lo at the burger joint I go to, Fuddy's that used to be Fuddruckers. I was with my mom then too, but I don't know if that's why J-Lo eventually sat down. Me and Mom were having trouble deciding what we wanted to eat, so the manager sat down with us, and started suggesting this mondo burger with everything on it.
I had the menu in front of me, it wasn't there.
"How much does a burger like that cost?"
"Oh, lemme see. Lemme see," he said like he was coming up with the damn price on the spot. "7.99."
"Fuck that," I was thinking. "Fuck that," I said. "You just came up with that price on the spot, man. You are trying to rob us good."
He had on this stupid, shiny, shit suit, and he kinda nuzzled his head in both sides of the shiny blazer, and then lifted his head up with this dumb grin and his stupid chiseled blonde hair that went up like an anime guy or something, and said, "Yeah, alright, but it's the price. That's the price. It's a good burger, and I really think it's worth it."
I started thinking about all the higher class people who were still around now while Law wasn't. How would all those folk be getting around? Like...I'm sure they had to pay lots of higher prices, but since they had all their money and the stores wanted to keep their money, they must get good shit no matter what. They must still be living the same past checkpoints and all.
And that's when "Jenny from the Block" walked by, and my jaw almost dropped into my seat. Holy shit, and my legs stood for me without me telling them or nothing, and I was walking over, I was chasing her down basically, going, "Hey!"
And she turned back, I guess she was curious. She smiled when saw me, but she was a little thrown off, "Hey," she said.
People seemed so much friendlier after Law left, like just when you couldn't trust anybody, everybody was there and trustworthy.
"You're..."
"Yeah, I am. Or I used to be." She laughed, "It's so hard to tell whether I'm still her."
I laughed at that. How do you stop being J-Lo?
"Oh, really? But like...how do you stop being you?" I asked.
"Well," she laughed again, "no one watches TV anymore, so I guess I'm just not that big of a deal anymore" and there was this weird look on her face like she was being sarcastic.
I would have followed up with, "You're still a big deal to me," but since I just met her that didn't seem to be good, so I got hung up for a second, and she started to leave. I was gonna go with, "Yeah, it's pretty crazy since Law left," but everybody said that, and she was just going to nod and say, "Yeah, so I gotta go."
"Hey, so...you doing anything now?"
She laughed. I should've gone with "So, you really are 'Jenny from the Block' now, huh?" but that would just get a laugh, I dunno. What do you say to women like this?
"Umm..." She said. "I guess I was on my way out."
"Well, I need some help here, this guy," I leaned in a little bit, knowingly, looking around, "asshole," she smiled. "This guy, he wants to charge me $7.99 for the biggest-mouth bigger in the history of burgers."
She thought for a bit. "Well, $7.99 used to be market price or whatever, right?"
"I know, but..." and we both kinda nodded at each other, and said, "Times have changed."
"They sure have," she said. Maybe it wasn't that she looked old, she just looked tired.
And, yeah, like I guessed there would be, we had that pause of nothing much else to say, but...she acted differently then, maybe she just wanted a chance to say what had been on her mind the whole time.
"Sometimes I don't get it. One day, everything is the same and then...something just shifts like the Earth goes off-course...."
I didn't know how to respond considering me and Hungry Nine had kinda been a part of that, and now he says several members of the FBI are looking for him, but that's Hungry Nine and he's...I don't even wanna go into it right now.
"Yeah, like everyone just got knocked on the head by something, everyone woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stayed there."
"I heard that's what some people did."
"On the wrong side of the bed? I mean...I do that, but..."
"No, I mean...some people just laid there, didn't go to work, just glued to the TV."
"Yeah, like everyone just knew..."
"That the law didn't matter anymore."
"Just took off."
She laughed, "Yeah, got lost."
This is when I started to feel uncomfortable, but then I thought, hey, maybe this is my chance?
"Have a drink with me."
She laughed. "Like you're old enough."
I shrugged, "Have a drink with me none the less."
The store owner was still breathing, I realized that fact about then. Maybe Hungry Nine wasn't as hard as he said. For whatever reason, he kept leaving this shit behind for me.
He was breathing very hard, wheezing in and out. They're always doing this. It gives me this pain in my heart and I know if things were different I'd be sitting behind bars by now.
I walked over to him, behind the counter, and knelt down. He looked at me with this hope, and grabbed on to my leg again, thinking that I was the one who didn't want in on this, who didn't want to rob the place, the guy along for the ride. It's always painful. I mean, given the wrong set of circumstances, this would be me. So, I got sloppy, I made a mistake. I sat down cross-legged, picked up his head, and laid it in my lap.
I hate that Hungry Nine always goes for the organs, doesn't hit the head, leaves the face pretty much alone. Looking over the old dude, it was almost like some of his insides had caved in, broken ribs, and the throttling Nine gave to the dude's neck was not cool, not the way I wanna die.
"You...why?" He tried to look up at me, but his neck wouldn't move or it was too painful. "You...deliquent" he got angry in his raspy call. "call the..." He grimaced "stupid kid."
I guess he wanted to keep to his principles. Maybe he thought he still had a chance. So, we sat there, and I thought about J-Lo, and he cursed a bit at various shit, and I thought, Damn, I mean just the way J-Lo looks made you feel good.
She sat down with me and my mom in the burger joint. My mom didn't really know who she was, but they still seemed to get along. I think J-Lo was impressed that I was taking care of my mom like that.
I wanted to tell her, "I figure she's family. I figure family's still important, right? I mean, something has to be," but you know, with my moms around she might get upset and that might cause another stupid issue.
J-Lo was stuck on how Law left and everything, so she asked a lot about my mom's experiences, and thank god 'cause mom was the best wingman I've ever had, a boy's best friend. Strange her being so nice.
"...everything just started to go, but there my son was, always there to say, 'it's gonna be alright,' and 'look, I'll fix everything.'"
J-Lo kinda looked at me with a warmth in her eyes that was nice, and then she caught herself, I think, and she looked back to my mom, then down like she didn't have nobody looking out for her. My mom kept flashing cheap smiles. If she thought she was fucking with me, she was doing a poor job. J-lo came home with us that night
The manager stuck around while we were talking, which was ok, I guess. He had to have his douchebag comments every now and then about how his investment strategies had made him the man he was today despite "the turmoil." He kept calling it "The Turmoil." J-Lo bought into his bullshit every now and then, and I had to let her 'cause otherwise I'd look too threatening. She kept looking to me to join the conversation about Law leaving, but I guess I didn't really have all that much to say. The times had changed, and you gotta roll with shit like that.
I wanted to ask the video store owner if he had any last words, anything he wished had happened before he went, but I think he had gotten angry at me for not going for help. It seemed that way, anyway. He would like shake, and like try to move his arms around, try to say something like "it's just not right," or "Why is this happening?" but he never took his head outta my lap. I think that was important to him, reminded him of something.
He cried a little bit, or just let out like stifled sobs. I wanted to ask him if he had a girl, if he had someone that made him feel warm. I wanted to ask him why everyone wanted Law back. I mean, the guys I know always talk about how scared they were, how scary everyone looked to them. When Law left, I stopped watching TV. You could tell people who still did though. They still looked afraid, always looked over their shoulder, believed the worst about everybody. It was bad. They couldn't just deal like the rest of us.
This dude still had a TV sitting at the top of his shop. It was on. I wanted to ask him if I could turn it off, it seemed reasonable enough.
"Hey, sir, can I turn that off?"
He looked at me, kinda confused at first, but then just tried to shake his head and muttered some more in a husky breath. So, I ignored him, and killed the TV with the remote.
It got quieter. The dude could hear his shallow, heavy breaths now, and it seemed to scare him. He heard the sobs too, and got proud, I guess, kinda tried to stop them and be a man. He started feeling around his body. My legs were really starting to cramp. I guess I figured that was as good a time as any to kill a dude, so I slit his throat. I stood up, bringing his body with me, and slammed his head to the ground. Man, that shit was loud. I stomped it in for good measure, and hoped that going extra hard on his head had brought some measure of peace to the old dude. I mean, what the fuck do I know about death except you don't get to choose how you go?
Then I went next door to this apartment, figuring that was as good a place as any to hide out for a bit. I was tracking a little blood on my shoes, so I made it look like they were running in another direction. I didn't try very hard. It didn't seem that important. The cops these days weren't that tough really. They yell a lot about you being a little punk, that you're gonna get it, the fall of civilization, blah blah blah, but once you get the gun away, it's over for 'em nine out of ten times.
The one time I was wrong, I was scared to shit. The cop fucking decked me, and everything started spinning, and I didn't really know what to do but wait for what I had coming, but the cop just looked at me. We both just looked at each other. I was dazed as shit, so I saw the cop in twos and threes. The cop hesitated. Fucking stupid, right? Why would you hesitate? Why wouldn't you just finish the job? But that's Hungry Nine. He just like hesitates for weird reasons. That time, I think that's when he realized that Law was really gone, there was no point in fighting for it, beating up little kids, and that moment was probably pretty poignant or something for him.
Like that day when everyone kind of woke up crooked, when I realized that paying $1.99 for a pen that cost 3 cents to make was robbery. I had worked hard for my money, and these people were stealing it. And, in my head, Law snapped. I just couldn't believe it anymore. I grabbed all the pens I fucking wanted. I grabbed $5 orange juice, $50 alcohol, $20 meat, I grabbed everything I ever wanted, and I pushed my cart out the door of the supermarket, and no one stopped me. It must have snapped in all their heads too. It wasn't their stuff. The manager screamed at me for a bit when I was rolling the cart out the door, but then stopped, and got a funny look on his face.
And I went home.
Hungry Nine had beaten me over, had the chance to end it for me, and I was so fucking dazed I didn't know if I cared. I don't even remember what he and that other cop had chased me down for. He said later that "I just looked like trouble." I mean they jumped me, not the other way around, but I made them pay. I got his partner down pretty quick, but Nines was much tougher, and got me, and then he waited. I was coughing blood. I felt heavy and breathed wheezy like that old dude did, and then he lifted me up. He brushed me off. He took the badge off of his doubled-over partner, who we left for dead, and that was it.
"You're my liutenant now," he said. "give me your number."
"Oh," I said, and coughed some more blood, "Ok." So then I started running with Hungry Nine.
The cops showed up to the video store like I figured some well-meaning citizen would cause, but did 911 even work anymore? Citizen, right? When was the last time anybody voted? I mean, for real though. With every four years some new guy with the same last name? And now their names might as well be carved in trees or be some stupid graffiti no one understands
We...me and Hungry Nine have been setting up these police traps for weeks. Raid a store, wait for the cops, take the cops down. Some of these cops have started fucking with people. They respond to crime calls, but God knows what they did after that. Not follow protocol for sure. Not protect and serve. The stories weren't good.
I start off by sneaking around, and raiding their cop car which looks messed up anyway like they've never cleaned the thing or like they jacked it from a checkpoint. I jacked open the window with a hanger I grabbed from that apartment and again, it looked like someone had done this before so then I'm really thinking these cops aren't who they pretend to be, then pulling open the lock, opening the door real real carefully, hoping they don't notice, hoping they're too busy with the mess I made. One of them whistles real high while the other says, "Fuck." Maybe I should have hidden body parts around the store, play hide-and-seek with a leg or something. Shit would be straight creepy to walk into.
When I check the computer, at a glance 'cause I'm too busy looking for the shotgun I think they've got hidden, I notice that these are the officers we've been most wanting: Parker and Scott. Hungry told me they used to be meter maids, but they stole a police cruiser and are running vigilante around the town.
They raid the video store just like we would, and I watch from the car as they throw down a good copy of "Century Maid Deluxe" that I hadn't seen before, not that I'm really into those harem animes, I just heard the animation was good.
The shotgun was hung behind the backseat, partially loaded. I grab it and check it, five shots to prove my point: "Get the fuck out."
I wish Hungry Nine had stuck around. He fucking never does. Nines told me to "free them of their burdens as police officers," "take away their superiority complex, and they'll crumble into human beings," but if this is so important why is he never here and why does he talk like me one second and then like fifty other people the next 'cause he's fucking hopped up on that shit and keeps pretending he isn't.
I approach the video store cautiously, hoping they don't notice, please please please don't notice, these men they don't know what they do, Lord. And all that makes me think of the church down the street where they sell non-gov drugs. Pretty good, but if J-Lo knew what would she think?
When I'm pretty sure their backs are completely turned to the entrance, I walk in. The protect-and-servers busted down the door, so glass litters the floor. I note the assholes have vests, think, "good," and raise the shotgun, but then I make a mistake. I shouldn't have. I thought I knew better, but something in me turned on me and I looked over the counter at the old man again.
Like a cracked egg, his head just looked shattered, but his eyes were looking out, and they had tears, his hand was awkwardly folded towards his eye like he had tried to wipe them away before he died. The fucking...crazy old, fucking, he had...I was wrong. I had given him more pain, we killed him, and what had we done it for in the end? To teach these self-righteous pig pricks a lesson? For a couple of movies?
The fake cops were turning around now, they had noticed me, noticed the shotty. I wanted to tell them that I didn't want the gat. I never wanted it. I watched a movie once about how guns had ruined the streets. I agree. I can take a man or woman as a man or woman but no man or woman takes a gun well even when they have a gun. It's bullshit.
Even so, they've noticed I've got the shotgun level. They've noticed me looking at the old man. They're slowing reaching for the weapons.
"Just take it easy, son" the one on the left says, still reaching for his piece, asshole. "Take it easy."
I raise the shotgun higher, and they pause, and I'm shaking. Fuck, I'm fucking shaking. This shit never happens in a real fight, but now I've got this stupid fucking gun, piece of shit gun, and they're more calm than me!
"I don't want this fucking gun!" I couldn't hold it in. I was too fucking upset that things had gone so poorly.
"That's ok, son. Just take it easy."
"Fucking stop reaching for that pistol. Assholes! Goddamn, you're just going to make this worse!"
The talky one on the left nodded to his partner, and they stopped, which calmed me a down a bit, but not really 'cause these fuckers can't be trusted.
"Oh, goddamn. Goddamn," I said. 
"No need to use that kind of language, son. Let's just talk this through."
Alright, they piss me off. I know they piss me off, but I don't have to buy into it. It's at this moment that I am hit again with how fucking stupid I am. Of course, this was going to happen eventually. Of course, I was going to fuck up, plan badly, act badly, get caught, I just didn't want to think about it. I was fine without Nines before, doing the same shit, and now I needed him. This was his mission, his "shepherding" of his stupid flock, and I went along with it like a fool. I didn't want this, and now I can't walk away.
If I fire at the cop on the left, the cop on the right is sure to have enough time between the shots to take me down, not to mention that the first shot on the cop on the left won't take him out. He'll of course, want to get me, and reach for his pistol with enough time to take me out like a point guard passing to the center. If I don't get between the two, they get the basket and I lie in a pool of blood with the old man clawing at my throat. If I hit the guy on the right, the guy on the left, who's already antsy as shit with his hands will get me with the pistol.
"What's your name, son?"
They really piss me off.
"What's your name?"
"Look, man..."
"Let's just talk. Just talking, no big deal, all the time in the world."
"Look, man...you're a fucking..." Then it hits me. "You know Hungry Nine?"
"Hungry...?" They look at each other. "Mickel? Bill Mickel?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever, you know that asshole?"
They laugh, they stop reaching for their guns, and I know this is it. There's no other way I would get out of this, I tell myself. They can't be laughing for a good reason. Hungry Nine is an asshole.
So, I shoot. I take a shot at what I figure is the top part of the left cop's vest, hoping to rip some shards in his face or that the gun will jump enough when I fire that the shotgun will blow holes through his skull and that will distract him enough to leave me alone. The gun jumps like I thought it would, it sprays, it looks like it hits the cop somewhere, but I don't really wanna see the result so I look towards the other cop. I have trouble recovering my aim to get a shot at the guy on the right before he can pull his pistol up. I pray to God a little bit for the split second difference that'll let me fire first. I wince, tilt my head to the right in a stupid attempt to dodge where I think the cop is aiming while I fire the shotgun again.
The cop's left side of his face just disappears in red and his screams make my blood curl. I'm really sorry. I want to tell him. I'm really sorry.
I have fucked up.
The cop to the left is now struggling for his pistol, which I try to shoot away from him but end up blowing more holes in a few of his fingers which severs one or two and his ammo belt which lights up and blood starts to leak from his hip as he goes down.
So, they're down. I've done the job I said I would. I've laid the trap, I've trapped the officers, and now they're bloody, and probably dying on the floor of a video store. I feel like I've watched a football game I had nothing riding on, either side could have won, and I would have cheered all the same.
Even so, I take the guns off the screaming, cursing officers, they scrambling to grab at me as I do it, yelling cusses far worse than anything I've ever said. I get it. The will for revenge, but they're done already. I wish they knew it. I walk out. I gotta walk out.
I reach the car, and angrily break the other window. Someone has stepped out into the street, which I didn't know people did anymore when shit like this happened.
"Walk the fuck away!" I yell and my voice is louder than I've ever heard it.
The glass of the window broke apart and shards are stuck in my arm which doesn't seem to hurt so I'm hyped up. I'm tired of this shotgun. I want it away. I'm tired of these cops with guns. I drop it all in the car except for one of the pistols.
And I walk down the street. I can see some of the neighborhood people peeking out, and I wanna wave the gun at them but I'm embarrassed and if they have guns, this could be a bigger problem. They're all watching. Fine. Watch me try some more stupid shit, people. I take a shot at the gas tank from what I figure is a fair distance away, and fold up a little to avoid getting hit by exploded cop car.
But I miss.
Of course I miss.
I cannot get over the way the blood sprayed out of that man's face, the way they thought I was going to ease up, the way those fingers just broke off, and I blame the guns. I blame them for Hungry Nine, for the old man behind the store, for the crying baby I can hear now in the house I was hiding in, for the erection I lost when I thought pooing was more important than fucking J-Lo.
I was just thinking that to make myself laugh, and it doesn't work.
I shoot again. Nothing happens. This whole Law thing is fucked.
I've only heard about shooting a car's gas tank. I knew a guy who shot a gastank at a monster truck rally one time. He was a vet, used to be a sharpshooter. He was two hundred feet away with some kind of rifle. I don't know, the point is he brought the "Ford Crusher" to its knees. Last rally we saw around here.
But why the fuck was he shooting at a monster truck?
I shoot at the cop car again. Nothing happens for a second, and then liquid starts leaking out of the tank.
Nothing.
Mistakes were made. Nothing went right today.
Maybe they'll be more cops on the way now. I take the pistol with me, along with my copy of "And They Died Tomorrow," and I start walking home in the middle of the street, asking for trouble.